IGM Aaron Sorkin: Genius, Elitist Snob

Inter-Galactic Memo
To: All Personnel
Fr: W. Leavitt
Re: Aaron Sorkin; Genius, Elitist Snob
12-9-2010

Let me say at the beginning that I think Aaron Sorkin is a creative genius. He created and wrote West Wing, which I consider to be one of the best television series of all time—it featured a liberal, democratic president and very progressive staff and cabinet, and I still loved it. He’s done several other shows as well, all of them noted for their intelligent, fast-paced dialog and fascinating characters.
So when I add that he appears to be a disingenuous, small-minded, hate-motivated bed-wetting elitist, you can tell it is with love and concern.
Recently Sorkin took Sarah Palin to task over her “Reality show” in which she shot a caribou. He described the incident as the “first moose ever killed for political gain.” Apparently, Sorkin is not sufficiently well-acquainted with the natural world that he can distinguish a caribou from a moose. Having seen both, I can assure you this failure is troubling on several levels.
I am not what I would describe as a Palin fan. I harbor no animosity towards her, and find most of the mindless criticisms and caricatures offensively motivated by irrational feelings of sour grapes—which is odd when one considers she lost—but I find it hard to imagine a scenario in which I would vote for her. However, Sorkin’s diatribes seem both pointless and ill-conceived. I imagine spittle flying from his lips while he so causally uses his gift as character assassination.
For example, he refers to the footage of Palin killing the caribou as a “snuff film.” He’s in the movie business. He should know better. The term snuff film has a specific definition, and it is vile enough that to use it as he did speaks volumes to his own bigotry. For those of you who might not know, a snuff film is any movie in which a human being is actually killed—murdered—for the pornographic content and for profit. By definition, this can only occur with humans. We can argue until the cow comes home (hopefully unharmed) about the morality of killing animals, but murder for sexual prurience and profit cannot be ascribed to the killing of animals under any circumstances. (Unless there is a new fetish of which I am unaware.) To accuse Palin—or anyone else—of such a thing is mean-spirited and small-minded.
Sorkin goes on to say the following:
He described Palin as "deranged", a "witless bully" and a "phony pioneer girl". He also said The Learning Channel, the US cable network, "should be ashamed of itself" for broadcasting her "truly awful reality show".
He does make one valid point—as far as I can tell all reality shows are “truly awful.” Personally, I see no evidence she is deranged. And from what vast left field does he get “witless bully?” “Phony pioneer girl” is the worst though. Mrs. Palin grew up hunting and fishing, and that can be, and has been, easily and thoroughly proven. Her lifestyle has been—comparatively speaking—one of a semi-rugged, outdoors, independent woman. I get the sense that Sorkin may be secretly envious of her masculinity—a trait which he is obviously lacking. Like most people who haven’t the stomach to hunt, he tries to turn it into a venal act. Which is nonsense of the highest order. Let’s put both in the wilderness with a rifle, a knife, some matches and fishing line, and see who comes out smelling like a rose, shall we?
Palin, not the sort to run and hide, shot back.

"Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation.”

Sorkin, in a fascinating display of unconscious guilt, manages to step right into her obvious point. He retorts:

"I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather ... I'm able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical,"

Seriously, he might as well just admit he wants to have sex with his mother while he’s at it.
There are in fact important distinctions between Palin and Sorkin, but he has managed to completely miss them. He hates her politics. He hates her lifestyle, her independence and lack of sophistication. He hates her celebrity and popularity. In his perfect world someone like Sarah Palin would not even exist. In my perfect world, I would rather never have seen a single episode of West Wing if it meant never having to listen to this kind of drivel. I like my drivel better.

IGM Denver International Airport

Inter-Galactic Memo
To: All Personnel
Fr: W. Leavitt
Re: Denver International Airport
12-5-2010

Is anyone else curious about the history of the Denver International Airport? I think it’s time for a little old-fashioned paranoia.
Once upon a time the city of Denver had a perfectly nice, functional, modern airport called Stapleton. Remember? Then, suddenly, without much warning and against massive protests from the locals, who said things like “but we already have one!” And “that’s a helluva lot of money for something we don’t need!” the state, and the federal government (Congress was in collusion) announced the new one. We were all told it would be the best, most efficient, statest-of-the- art airport in the whole world. It was rammed through in record time despite all the protests.
The new airport is smaller than Stapleton. Fewer gates, terminals, runways, etc. And it is built under a tent. But the land it is on takes up half of Colorado. It cost five times what it was supposed to. People complain constantly of the place making them sick—headaches, stomach problems. They complain of odd vibrations and high-frequency sounds. The super-modern baggage-handling system sends luggage into the Wickenburg Triangle with depressing regularity. Entire construction teams were routinely fired as soon as they finished their part of a project and new ones were brought it. The upshot of that was no one had any idea what the overall plan was, or what the blue-prints looked like. (Except the big bosses.) The heavily-fenced property is under ridiculously overkill security measures. And there are dozens of concrete formations dotting the unused land, which resemble mini-cooling towers, or air vents.
Remember that scene in Independence Day when Judd Hirsch tells the President (As they enter the underground sections of Area 51) “you don’t really think they spent five hundred dollars on a toilet seat, a thousand on a hammer do you?”
No one wanted that airport built. It wasn’t needed. It was so far over budget that they could have built five or six of them. And they took ten times the land they could possibly have ever needed. Does that suggest anything to anyone?
OF COURSE IT DOES! Obviously, there is a huge underground base of some kind down there, probably with aliens living in secret luxury. Or preserved in big bottles. Odds are tunnels connect it to Cheyenne Mountain and Area 51. Maybe others.
As you know our government has dozens of secret bases like this, scattered around and under the country, doing all kinds of nefarious but cool research on things like the 19th chromosome of the human genome, element 115, anti-gravity, alien technology, light, immortality, genetic engineering for super-soldiers, and why Barbie remains so popular.
I think it’s time we ask congress to fess up and share some information. Our government is up to something. The deficit, the rate of spending, and the disappearance of hundreds of billions of dollars is not an accident, and not the result of poor book-keeping. They’re UP TO SOMETHING. I mean, c’mon . . . thirteen trillion? Really? That’s a lot of toilet seats.
Here’s a clue. Years ago John and Dever and I went to Chaco Canyon in New Mexico, and spent the weekend. (Nothing Brokeback was going on) When the Ranger asked us if we had a good time, John said yes, but we were disappointed to not have seen any UFO’s. The Ranger apologized, saying the “machine was broken.” True story. I think it speaks for itself. You should take the trouble to visit Chaco Canyon, the premier Anasazi site in the country. And when I say trouble, I mean it, but it’s well-worth the effort. It’s probably more other-worldly than Stonehenge. And I’m pretty sure there is a tunnel underneath it leading to the Denver International Airport.

Thanks to Rhani at Anomalies-Unlimited. Check the site out.