Tuesday, May 26, 2009

IGM Judicial Racism

Inter-Galactic Memo
To: All Personnel (especially wise Latina women)
Fr: W. Leavitt, white male
Re: Judicial Racism
6-26-09

While pursuing the Drudge Report this evening and watching a Scrubs rerun, I came across a particularly disturbing quote from an ostensibly intelligent woman. Here’s the quote:

I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male.

And who belongs to this vapid, vaporous, valueless vitriol? No, not Jennifer Lopez, nor Jessica Alba, nor Cameron Diaz, and it wasn’t Harry Reid ( who is neither a woman nor Latina, but he is the king of saying stupid things) and it isn’t even Carla, that fun-loving heart-of-gold nurse on Scrubs who is Dominican, thank you very much, not Puerto Rican.
It was Obama’s nominee for Supreme Court Justice, Sonia Sotamayor.
I know knowing else about her, nor, at this point, do I care to. How is it that people of a certain, shall we say . . . persuasion? Can get away with this kind of crap? For that matter, how is it that someone who has espoused this sentiment—in public no less—is even nominated for a position more responsible than Federal Emergency Response Nose-Picker?
Which characteristic are we to believe will give her the superior life experiences apparently genetically withheld from “white males?” Or would it be both “woman” and “Latina?” And how does one make such a comparison? Her life experiences versus, mine, or yours or anyone else’s? How do we judge relative merit for such a tenuous, internal, subjective evaluation? Whew! Good thing we’ll have someone on the bench with just those skills. Because according to Sotamayor her future colleagues ain’t got it. Except maybe Thomas—she wasn’t clear on the status of black males.
At this point we hardly need to mention that other quote she gave us when talking about the court;
“this is where policy is made.”
Really? The courts? And here I thought that was what congress was for. I can’t wait for the Supreme Court to set more policy. It has worked out so well in the past, don’t you think?
In a civilized society, where politically correct extremism was not the order of the day, she would get her face slapped for such an outlandish, offensive, and utterly racial statement. Sure, the same goes for me too, but when do I ever say anything outlandish or offensive?
Now, someone might be upset over my evaluation of Miz Sotamayor’s foolishness, claiming I’m over-reacting, or not playing nice. Please. I’m not cutting her one ounce of slack. She said it, she deserves to be hammered for it. No one cuts me any slack. You people are ruthless! You don’t see all the replies I get. (It’s okay though. I can take it. In fact I love it.)
And let’s not make the mistake of believing that only certain, very rare people have what it takes to sit on that bench. I publicly challenge Sonia right now to a duel. Give me a nice office, a six-figure salary and a couple of law clerks from BYU (just to make it fair), and my best buddy Dever, and I will write opinions on all the cases the court sees while she is sitting on it. We’ll let the audience of “American Idol” decide who writes the better opinion. No contest. And mine would be funny too.
But seriously, someone—preferably a white male—should hire an attorney (Female and Latina) and sue this woman for defamation, slander and racial profiling, not to mention a possible hate-crime. Obviously I won’t because, you know, I just don’t care, and I wouldn’t be believable. But someone with a good reputation, someone involved and passionate, sincere and caring. I’m thinking Mr. Blood. You go big guy. Git ‘er!