IGM Domestic Terrorism

Inter-Galactic Memo
To: All Personnel
Fr: W. Leavitt, neophyte domestic terrorist
Re: Domestic terrorism

Jay Nixon, Governor of Missouri, recently issued a secret report to law-enforcement and related agencies in his state, through the Missouri Information Analysis Center, which smears about two-thirds of the population of the country, naming them (us, me) as potential domestic terrorists.
The list includes: Ron Paul supporters, people who have knowledge of the U.S. Constitution, and people who display political bumper stickers as potential domestic terrorists.
The MIAC report specifically describes supporters of presidential candidates Ron Paul, Chuck Baldwin, and Bob Barr as “militia” influenced terrorists, [and] the so-called patriot movement and other political activist organizations opposed to the North American Union and the New World Order.
Interestingly, the governor failed to mention Jihadists, Islamic Radicals, Bader Meinhoff, the Golden Path, Al Qaeda, the Taliban, the KKK, the Black Panthers, the IRA, Hamas, Hezbollah, and about two hundred others—I checked.
Do you believe this guy? According to Jay’s definition, I am a domestic terrorist on nearly every count. I own guns, I own gold, we display the flag on every appropriate occasion, I like Ron Paul, I have a nodding acquaintance with the Constitution, I understand that I am in fact a member of Nevada’s militia, I oppose both the North American Union and the New World Order, I belong to a “fundamentalist” religious organization, I listen to talk radio (while not mentioned in the report, I feel this was merely an oversight) and I like the occasional bumper sticker—my favorite of which is “I loathe and despise redundancy,” which I saw stuck to both sides of a bumper. Nice, huh?
I am surprised to find myself on a secret list, if not by name then certainly by temperament. I think of myself as pretty patriotic, then find out that the “patriot movement” is on the list. Bother. Now all of you will have to watch me night and day, which makes your jobs harder since you were already tasked to watch for anything unusual, out of the ordinary, or swarthy.
My one consolation is that I am in good company, which includes George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and the other founders, all of whom were radicals, insurgents, and treasonous. They were not terrorists, however. Not in the sense of my own above mentioned list which only includes people who kill innocents at random for the purpose of causing actual terror.
The Governor is one of many well-intentioned idiots who have misplaced his sanity in favor of political correctness. I am confident that the Bush administration did not prevent several dozen actual, active, terrorist plots from occurring in this country over the last seven years by keeping a sharp eye on flag-waving, bumper-sticker wearing, constitutionalists. But that’s just me.